Holidays can be a time of happiness- with family, friends, and good food, but for those living with ADHD the stress of the holidays can be overwhelming. If this has been part of your past holiday seasons, try changing it up this year!

Focus on what works for you and not what is expected of you. You may feel like you need to produce the perfect holiday for your family members, but simplifying tasks can make your life less stressful. If cooking a large meal is too much for you this year, ask others to pitch in or pick up the big holiday meal from a restaurant or catering service.

You might want to put up a tough front over the holidays to let others know that you can do everything just like everyone else! But focusing on all the details may create even more stress for you. Make the holidays work for you, and don’t take on too many tasks. Maybe you have a difficult time saying “no,” as many adults living with ADHD are people-pleasers trying to live up to everyone else’s expectations. The holidays can be overwhelming if you always say “yes.” You can delegate the details to another family member and only focus on a few important tasks. Think about what you can and want to get done yourself.

Finally, relax and have fun. Just because a moment is not how you planned, it doesn’t mean the holiday is ruined. Adjust your expectations and enjoy being with family and friends. Even if your holiday plans become nontraditional and different from other years, making the holidays work for your ADHD can lead to a less stressful season for you.